Hurricane, Hizzicane; Which Is It?



Posted: Monday, July 28, 2008

by Cliff Cohu

The month of June denotes the beginning of the notorious hurricane season for the Atlantic and Gulf coast states of the U. S. For those of us who live in Iowa, we have little to fear, except for an occasional tornado. If we live in Colorado, which is my home state, a winter blizzard that dumps umpteen feet of snow will get its share of headlines. California...well, they could use a hurricane now, and a blizzard. But, hey, let's not fool ourselves. It's just not going to happen.

Putting geography and technical meteorology aside, I have a particular beef in regard to the subject of hurricanes. Until 1979, all of the Atlantic and Caribbean tropical depressions were designated with female names. The practice of such began during WWII, then was briefly abandoned in 1951 in favor of a confusing system that involved naming storms by a phonetic alpahabet. In 1953 the U. S. weather services reverted to the female names. And this is where I protest.

In all fairness to the male gender (hear me, men), why not adopt the word "hizzicane" (his-icane) for storms bearing a male name, just as hurricane (her-icane) is used for storms with the female gender of identification? You know, like "his and hers". Well, now, don't laugh. It's not so preposterous as you think. You see, it was in 1979 that both male and female names were chosen to alternate in predetermined lists that were agreed upon by the World Meteorological Organization. All of the names have an English, Spanish, French and Dutch spelling and pronunciation to reflect the tracking of hurr(and his)icanes by other major European nations on the eastern Atlantic.

No, I'm not trying to start a gender war or battle of the sexes. I'm simply emphasizing the need to interject a "manly" aspect in storm naming that is long overdue. Hurricane Renaldo or Gasper is not sufficient. It must be preceded by the term "hizzicane" for male names. At the expense of being branded a renegade or an outcast, my intent is not to find us males banished to the couch, or worse yet, a cheap motel for a few days

Nor is it an issue of the ferocity or destructive power of a female named storm over that of a male, or vice verse. Andrew in 1992 was the 2nd most costly at 26 billion dollars, and Charley a distant 4th at 15 billion, which puts that argument to rest. So where am I going with all of this? Should this measure come up as a referendum? How about an online poll?

Hurricane, hizzicane; which is it? Both. The former term for "her", the latter for him... er...I mean he...no, that's not right! It?? Let me get myself straight on the correct pronoun. His. Yes, that's it. His(icane). Let's hear it for hizzicane. (Say "hello" to couch, fellas. It rhymes with "ouch". Maybe
we should employ a secret ballot to decide this. Very secret).

Cliff Cohu

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